gifted, intelligent, spontaneous, stubborn, pessimistic, hard on myself, over-thinker, too analytical, dreamer, strong-willed, loyal, detached, poetic...
I feel people don't ever see myself the way I see myself and vice versa...I have a complex. With that being said, I settle for less when it comes to guys. It is unfortunate and disturbing. I have come to the realization that almost every guy I've been with (except one, yet that's debatable) has been below my standards. To put it blatantly, if I had to line them all up and reveal them to other people, even friends...I'd be embarrassed and ashamed of myself. They all have one thing in common: they didn't deserve me and I was naive enough to share myself with them. When I give, I give whole-heartedly...all of myself, which has left me drained after repeatedly giving myself to undeserving guys. I realize all of the guys I've been with were at times in my life when I was desperate longing to get what I feel I deserve and ultimately want (the perfect guy for me), yet settled because he was unavailable or because I got tired of waiting and wanted some physical satisfaction (in which many of them did not execute well). I'm fed up with attracting these lame, little boys. I want a young MAN. I want a man who is my equal...not someone I have to concentrate on bringing up to my level. But, to get what I want...I need to change my energy. I need to change my way of thinking and I need to gain back my self-respect. I'm done with settling.
-- Poetic Justice
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