whats in a title?

Title’s are tempting

I can’t always map out wrong or right

But calling you mine just seemed fitting

Felt a lot like certainty

Not so much like possession

Just potential

A sure thing in a bucket of blind folds

Something to sleep to

And a face worth waking up for

As for you

Titles must’ve sounded like land mines going off

Secret agendas, unknown expectations

Friendly fire’s in pure form

Like tight rope walking over pointed cliffs

And a not so beautiful horizon

Proof that we handle our senses differently

See God blessed me with poet’s hands

And gave you photographer’s vision

Hence, You trust in what you see

As for me, I’m all feelings

I kept you close

But held you differently

Hugs more like “Have you smiled today?”

Less like “Tell me how your day was.”

On camera, it may all look the same

But in my hands, I cradled you unbreakable

Wouldn’t let your heart hit ground

Even as I found myself falling

Couldn’t honestly tell you what I expected

Can only speak on that which I’m sure

Fact: allowing you to call me friend was my hearts greatest compromise

Not quite the title I had hoped for

Silly me

Naïve and still playing make believe

You made me believe you’d love me like they never could

Like you saw something different with that radar of yours

But those seven letters just made my love seem miniscule

Like something I should have reserved for sand boxes during recess

I don’t make love to my friends

Don’t flippantly offer up kisses

May seem keen on affection

But my adoration aint that frivolous

And I’m trying to be cooperative

… It’s just that negotiations haven’t always been my strong point

Especially when I call myself feeling certain

Plain and simple

This is not what I signed up for

And in most cases, the lesser sentence is preferable

But when I loved you like I love you

All or nothing’s the only fit

And you only cop pleas for a lesser sentence

When it’s a crime you did not commit

I did this on purpose

Shamelessly, even

Yet somehow it’s been restrained to friendship

So, give me time to gather my things

My personals

The ones I so intricately placed in your space

Fear not when you realize it was my energy that made your home feel familiar

Friends help with dishes

Not come over to make you dinner

And should you ever realize mistakes

Are the weapons you’ve manufactured in mass production

Wave your white flag

But don’t’ call this compromise

The only peace treaty I’m down for

Is the one that gives me a larger piece of you

The things I used to look forward to

I never needed the title of friendship

To validate what I already knew

What I wanted was something more

Something like certainty mixed with potential

No land mines or friendly fire

My love is the only front line worth fighting on

The only one capable of guaranteeing a safe passage home

If you’re ready for what, at times, may seem like high waters

Fasten your boot straps

But put down the machine gun

No protective gear is needed

You are safe here

Recognize me as friend

Only to assure yourself that we could never be enemies

Let’s take on a larger title

By now, it may seem trivial

But if it makes my wounds worth it

Know it’s all that I’ve been fighting for